you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
