well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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