Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you would pick up someone in the library
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
