I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
