At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
