If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
