exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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