So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
