We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
