the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
