Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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