On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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