Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
