Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
