She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
