Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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