you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
