He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
