Dual....:-)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
