he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
