Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This is my gift to your gina
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
