Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
