Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize