Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
