Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize