the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
