i just google imaged poop.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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