It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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