I think my vagina is haunted
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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