Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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