why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
