sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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