hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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