and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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