I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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