your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
