You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize