We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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