So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Oh god it's open bar.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
