is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
