waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
