Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize