i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
