I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
