How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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