i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
