Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I am naked and annoyed.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize