Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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