yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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