Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
