What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
