I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
