Where are you?
In a non slutty way
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
