Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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