The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
