Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
