Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize