I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
