I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
