My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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