matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
