The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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