I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
