she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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