No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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