pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
