My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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