the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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