Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
