I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize