A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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