Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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