i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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