why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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